The Picky Eater

Puerto Rico – December 2019

My wife and I have recently gotten into food tours. Our first was earlier this year in Long Beach, following a conference I was attending. A few month later we were in Monterrey for another conference and located another food tour. The ones we have taken have been guided by locals and introduce not just food but history. As we’ve enjoyed them so far, we’ve decided to try to incorporate them into future travels.

So, we were very happy to have found one in San Juan, Puerto Rico. We’re here for a few days before joining an Eastern Caribbean cruise. We’ve been to San Juan before, after my wife had moved over from London and couldn’t travel internationally while her residency was being established. I proposed we head to Puerto Rico as she would only need her driver’s license as ID. I don’t think she completely believed me until we set foot on the island and no one tried to stop us.

Our tour is situated in old San Juan, just a few blocks from our hotel, and our guide is also a local yoga instructor. Our group is small and includes mostly people like us awaiting their Caribbean cruise departure. There’s also another couple from Los Angeles—she’s originally from Mexico and he doesn’t appear to want to be there. He’s wearing designer sunglasses and a tight t-shirt with Hugo Boss emblazoned in gold, which makes me assume he drives a Tesla back home.

Our first stop is a coffee shop that also serves scratch-made pastry. The assumed Tesla driver doesn’t partake as he doesn’t do gluten. We follow this stop with a walk about town, which is followed by a stop for freshly made fruit popsicles to quench the growing heat. These he passes on because he doesn’t do sugar. A later stop includes white rice as a side but, you guessed it, he doesn’t do white rice.

Now I can see why he didn’t appear interested. I’m now assuming this food tour was his girlfriend’s idea and she wouldn’t let him head to the beach on his own as he might drown while trying to get out of the sea when he learns there’s salt in it.

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