Originally appeared in Relatable Voice Magazine – November 2023

Near the end of 2020, there was a meme going around showing the definition of a passport as a noun meaning “the most useless thing in 2020.” My travel friends and I all had to agree. In fact, one of my travel friends first brought it to my attention as we were all lamenting the suspension of a shared passion that year.

My most useless thing of 2020 was set to expire in September 2021. As the news going around in early 2021 was that there were severe delays in passport processing in the US, I sent mine in for renewal in March, figuring I wouldn’t need it anyway. There were no delays, and I had my new passport in April with a new expiration date of April 2031, five months shorter than it should have been.

From April 2021 to May 2022, this most useless thing sat in a drawer where I keep other travel-related items, including my travel wallet, watch, small flashlight, and vaccination records. Fiji saw my first passport stamp since December 2019, though just an entry stamp randomly placed somewhere near the middle of my empty passport. No exit stamp. Does that mean I’m still in Fiji?

I’ve always found the placement of passport stamps interesting. Some officials in countries that give you entry and exit stamps look for the page with the entry stamp and place the exit stamp on the same page, sometimes right next to each other. Others seem to pick a page randomly.

My wife often experiences this when we return to the US. Though she is a permanent resident, they always seem to open her British passport to a random, often blank, page for her entry stamp, much to her chagrin.

That’s assuming there’s even a passport stamp to be had. I always used to be able to rely on one entering or exiting the UK, but they’ve switched to a computer system, replacing the need to speak with an official or receive a stamp. Considering how many stamps I received while visiting my future wife in London before we were married, maybe this isn’t such a bad thing.

My first year back traveling is documented in my most recent book, On to Plan C: A Return to Travel. That year after heading to Fiji we spent a summer in Europe—the Plan C alluded to in the title after Plans A and B fell through. In winter there was a Christmas Market cruise along the Danube followed by a three-week Caribbean cruise.

In all, I added only five stamps to my passport. The random Fiji stamp in May, followed by an entry stamp for Bergen in July. While Norway is not part of the Schengen Agreement, it is included for visa-free entry to Europe, so there is no entry stamp in Copenhagen or Berlin. However, I did receive an exit stamp in Berlin.

Our Christmas Market cruise saw an entry stamp for Amsterdam before embarking and an exit stamp in Basel after disembarking. I’ll note that the four European stamps are all on the first two pages of my passport. Are you listening, Fiji?

Nothing for our Caribbean cruise, though that included eleven countries and five territories. It reminds me of a Central Europe tour I did years ago. It was advertised as an Eastern European tour, but our guide insisted it was, geographically speaking, Central Europe. I went to five countries in all that trip, and the only passport stamp I received was an exit stamp for Frankfurt, Germany, which was not part of the tour but rather a layover on my way home.

As we move increasingly into the digital age, passports may become obsolete someday, replaced with some digital equivalent. There are already electronic visas available for many countries. I appreciate the convenience but miss the frequently colorful printed visa being added to a blank page of my passport, either entry stamped directly on the visa or on the adjacent page when entering the country.

I will never forget the visa I received for Azerbaijan, with all details handwritten by some unknown official. Or my colorful Nepalese visa, which took two queues and five officials to receive upon arrival. Here’s hoping a switch to digital passports happens after I’m done collecting stamps.

# # #

Back to Travel Tales | This & That